- being on Colonial House would’ve been a step up for her.

- Oprah’s Book Club pick? The Bible every time.
- the book club would be replaced by Oprah’s Quilt Club.
- and Oprah’s Jelly Club.
- and Oprah’s Furniture Club.
- she wouldn’t care about Barack Obama.
- Amish fashions all the rage with women ages 30-49.
- she would dismiss the exploits of Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Brittney Spears, etc. with ‘Whatever happens in Rumspringa, stays in Rumspringa.’
- she’d consider Dr. Phil just a crazy servant of the Devil’s Playground. And she’d be partially right.
- Letterman never would have made that ‘Oprah. Uma.’ joke.
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